Here I am, in the beauty of darkness, experiencing some sleepless nights because the body felt like telling me something, so I got up, did some Tai Chi and I was guided to type this.
Recently, people who reminds me of being carefree, innocent, childlike keep popping up here and there. When I think of such people, I just smile unconditionally. A good friend of mine told me that the innocence in me sees the innocence in them. My God, I guess all along, I just wanted to feel like a child again!
I’m an adult. To be precise, I’m 32 this year. People who live in my country, especially those of the same race as I am, often ask me why I’m not married yet, why I’m not doing something “proper”. In a non-discriminating way, sometimes I realize why a lot of my friends aren’t from my ethnic group.
Hello? Marriage isn’t just a “system” for us to continue our family name! Partnership means you trust your body mind and soul with another person to build something greater, which may or may not be having kids.
Deep down, my soul yearns to fly free, feel free inside out everyday. I like to go down and play with the cats, I dance and do the hokey pokey when I’m walking along nature. My thinking has rarely been “adult” like. I rarely talk about a lot of stuff nowadays. Wait, I hardly socialize much nowadays.
I feel…I feel…like a newborn babe. I’m nothing. I’m emptiness. I’m void. I’m not I’m. There’s no I’m.
I welcome the return to innocence…