I have been getting some questions from a couple of people about the same problem – Not knowing what to do in life.
A typical solution is…
Make a list of the things that you think you might like to do. For everything that you like to do, rate them on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest) on qualities such passion, knowledge, ability to bring you money, progression opportunities, prestige, lifestyle, or any qualities that you desire. Tabulate the score and the one thing that scores the highest would be what you should be doing. Start doing it and don’t you dare look back!
Yes. This is a pretty excellent solution for people are extremely confident of who they are and are ready to make the next leap of faith. These are the people who fully understand their mind, body and heart so well that they will end up having a Midas touch experience with whatever they do.
However, after you made your decision based on the above scoring system, you tell yourself, “Something’s not right”. Or maybe, as you are pursuing this goal of yours, you end up procrastinating on it, watching videos on YouTube instead of taking your next course of actions.
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein.
Maybe you are someone who has been forcing yourself to make a decision because you FEAR that time is running out – That is making a decision out of scarcity.
Maybe you are a kinesthetic person and don’t like to draw tables and score your passions, yet you choose to do it because this is the “standard” way of making a decision – That is making a decision out of your natural state of well-being.
Maybe you have been constantly making every decision based on this table scoring method and still feels uninspired, hence, most of your decisions did not provide fruitful results – That is insanity, doing the same things over and over again and expecting a better result.
SOMETIMES THE SOLUTION IS FOUND WITHIN THE “EMPTY SPACE”
“Thirty spokes share the wheel’s hub;
It is the center hole that makes it useful.
Shape clay into a vessel;
It is the space within that makes it useful.
Cut doors and windows for a room;
It is the holes which make it useful.
Therefore profit comes from what is there;
Usefulness from what is not there.”
– Tao Te Ching, Chapter 11
Too poetic for you? No worries. Let me help you sum it up. A vessel needs the empty SPACE WITHIN to make it useful. If a vessel is filled up with other metallic elements, it will lose its purpose as a vessel. Can we carve a rock out and make it a home? No. Because we need SPACE TO ENTER into the home. Similarly, when we set a goal, we need to LEAVE SOME SPACE FOR FREE THOUGHT despite having useful personality profiling tools and books to help you figure out what you want.
I started my business early this year. But my God, there were so much fear and anxiety! To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to do!
“Why not just go out and take a walk?” I asked myself.
“Are you crazy? The more time I waste, the more I’m not going to get things done!” A side of me responded.
“The more you FEAR WASTING TIME and NOT GETTING THINGS DONE, the more your FEAR MANIFESTS INTO REALITY.” The other side of me responded. “Take a walk. Do something that you like. Enjoy life. Screw feeling guilty about it. Heck, you don’t even have PLAN to work with, so you are literally chiding yourself for NOTHING!” The other side of me responded.
“Yea makes sense. After all, I still have a freelance job as a motivational trainer and speaker at schools. Maybe the money’s not fantastic; at least I have something to keep me going while I really rediscover what I really want. ”
“Yes. That’s the spirit! First, be at a state of GRATITUDE before you attract more SITUATIONS you can be grateful for.”
Hence, I took my walk. Day 1. No inspiration, but felt pretty good. Day 2. Felt better. No inspiration. Day 3. Felt better again, wonder if there is something more active than walking for me to feel better. Looked up on the internet and found this Dance Meditation program.
Went for a dance meditation program, had so much fun, made so much great connections, wonder to myself maybe I could do something like that, facilitating dance meditation programs. However, I didn’t head for that route.
One day during a dance workshop, an inspiration came to me, “There are so many people out there who are pursuing external stuff to make them happy. There are also too much workshops telling people how to earn $$, how to get love, sex, etc. Yet, there are no workshops to tell them how to deal with themselves. What if they lost all of the above? Are they finished?”
Hence, that brought me to start my first workshop titled, “The Happy Singlehood”. It was a workshop meant for singles who are unhappy with their status and I help them to love themselves so that they can truly attract others.
The workshop only had 3 attendees. But, it went pretty well. Yet another new idea came to me – Writing a book to help singles love themselves so that they can attract others. During my clubbing days, I looked at how guys desperately use pick-up lines that are not suited for them and started chatting up girls with hopes of getting lucky. I thought, maybe when not these guys learn to love themselves first so that they can do away with “game theory” and really connect with women. Hence, a story about a bartender acting as the “hero” of the story, guiding this one average-frustrated-chump into a holistically successful man who is good with both women and with business, because he’s good with HIMSELF to start off with.
I spent the next four months typing away. Oh, what joy I was experiencing! I did not know whether this book would make me famous or make me money, but sure as heavens, I knew that I was typing my soul out! In the midst of the four months, I continued with my active meditation practice, I got to learn about different techniques of meditation and eventually became a certified meditation facilitator.
Four months later. The book is completed. I am also a certificated meditation facilitator. I started connecting with lots of people along the same path with me. People started coming up to me with questions about love, sex, lost with life, etc.
I started to see a pattern – With my love for meditation, love for writing, love to help people overcome their issues and strive for their goals; I found an intersection with what I’m doing right now.
I have no regrets creating Evolve with Rick. The whole entity seems to be in a good fit with my heart and soul. My upcoming plans seem to evolve in a logical way. Yes, money is coming in though I’m not a millionaire as of yet. But one thing for sure, I am very happy with whatever I’m doing right now. I have minimal anxiety and I don’t have to wait until I earn my dream income to be love and accept myself 100%. Hence, the months of CREATING THE SPACE for myself to wander did wonders for me.
BUT IT TAKES TOO LONG!
Yes. You can just force yourself onto something or self-hypnotize yourself that you are going to make it in this particular direction. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Personally, I am an action taker and I understand the importance taking action at the RIGHT TIME. The problem lies when your MIND IS TELLING YOU TO GO FORWARD, yet your HEART and BODY is telling you to slow down. Sure, you can make lots of money. However, with an ignored heart and body, you will end up unhappy, depressed and you will eventually suffer from poor health. You may end up thinking, “What’s next?” all over again.
Yes. Financially, you are going to have an upper hand, but your quality of life gets affected. Money is abundantly available everywhere. You can get them at almost any time.
If you measure with money, money will measure with you back.
If you measure with time, time measures with you back.
OKAY. I GET YOU. CAN YOU GIVE US SOME TAKEAWAYS TO CONSIDER?
Go find a job. Be it part time or full time. Nevertheless, must be a job that pays for your sustenance and your family’s (if you have one), yet it does not overload you to the extent that your off-duty hours are compromise.
Do not, I mean do NOT allow the job to define you.
Spend at least 1 hour of your day to do something that makes you feel good, yet not have a destructive effect on you – which means I’m NOT referring to binge eating, drinking, smoking, watching porn, etc. I’m referring to doing something you have feel a sense of pride on top of something that you makes you feel good. Keep doing it if it feels good. If it doesn’t, move onto the next activity that makes you feel good.
But most importantly, do NOT allow these activities to define you either!
Keep a mental note of the stuff that makes you feel good and within 6 months, you should be able to confidently formulate something that you really want to pursue. Don’t be surprised that all your little interests might intersect and help you produce something really sustainable!
For my case, I had a couple of interests at the start of the year. I love writing and filming. Yet, it is my greatest wish to help others become the greatest version of them. I ever thought of making inspiring films that will help others become the greatest version of themselves, but the returns of whatever efforts I had were extremely low and unpredictable.
Hence, I decided to focus on a coaching and training business that helps others to become the greatest version of them. I also wrote a book, constantly churn out articles and even occasionally make YouTube videos to support my coaching and training business’s credibility. Maybe one day, the returns of my writing and video making will overtake the returns of my coaching and training business, who knows? But I am able to harmonize all the little interests that I have to create something sustainable. Go check out my other article on how I transmuted my passion-cum-talent to suit my current pursuit.
“Thus that which is hard and stiff
is the follower of death
That which is soft and yielding
is the follower of life
Therefore, an inflexible army will not win
A strong tree will be cut down
The big and forceful occupy a lowly position
While the soft and pliant occupy a higher place”
– Tao Te Ching, Chapter 76
Most people just take a step and force themselves to like something. However, it will also be a time where that force they gave will also force them into a breakdown. I do not believe that you must achieve X amount of money in order to have a harmonious and joyful life. In fact, I feel that it is crucial that harmony and joy needs to be part of your DAILY FOUNDATION in order to produce great material abundance and other external gains.
Start feeling good within yourself before you figure out your life direction. Take the path of least resistance today!
Your Partner in Evolution,