Have you ever wrecked your brains to figure out what to say to someone in order to be loved and validated?
Have you ever wished that you can be a little bit more honest and relax into your true self while talking to another person?
Have you ever wished that you can be a little more nonchalant when the person you wish to “impress” discovers your weakness?
Years ago, I used to answer a big “yes” to the above 3 questions. I had very bad self esteem issues and felt I was not worthy of anyone’s time.
In fact, I thought I was not “cool” enough for the kind of women I aspire to be with. There has been lots of material on how to pick up women and how to chat them up online. I subscribed to those materials and realized that I had to put up a “persona”. The very first line that I messaged had to be an “eye catcher”, as there were many “competition” out there. Hence, for the longest period of time, I was programmed to think that dating was about being someone different because who I am was not good enough to attract love. Even when we head out on dates, I had to keep up with the persona that I have built right from that very “line” I created.
Years later, when I start to love myself more, I started looking at this topic with a grander perspective. Nowadays, online dating is no longer a stressful thing. In fact, it is a good platform for me to unwind after a tiring workload. I no longer put in any unnecessary effort to create a pick up line in order to catch women’s attention, especially on Tinder. Tinder has made online dating much easier since it helps us to streamline the ones that have reciprocated our interest. Unless I can really find something very interesting about their profile to say, most of my starting lines are usually “Good morning” or “Good afternoon”.
Some say this is a big risk. Pick up “gurus” say that this is a suicidal attempt. Their theory is that many other men will message them with mundane lines. To me it is actually a blessing in disguise. It helps me to bring the right kind of women to me. Women who are not afraid to take the big risk to reply to a mundane “Good morning”. Women who will accept me for who I am, because that is who I am in real life. In real life, I say “good morning” or “hi” to acquaintances.
No, I am not sorry for who I am. If you wish to be turned on just by some fancy lines, you got the wrong man. Let’s face it. If we are going to be together for the rest of our lives, do we still want to play this “game” where we try to outwit each other with “lines”? Creating a life together is not something to be toyed around with. It involves a lot of dedication and unconditional love.
Its funny how modern communication has evolved so much that being ourselves and connecting with mundane lines has become a “risk”.
Many of us have been sucked into the fears propagated by romantic dramas, movies and listicle articles. But rarely, do we seek the truth inside ourselves to embody the most attractive versions of ourselves.
It is time that we raise our consciousness. The more we love and accept ourselves, the more we can truly connect with one another without fear.